Meet Dr. Imposter
Updated: Apr 9, 2018
My venture into the daunting world of realizing my full potential...
This is my first blog post ever. Much like standing at the edge of a high dive contemplating jumping, I find myself flashing through reasons why I shouldn't publish this post. Some of these reasons are logic-based, some are illogical but all of them are driven by fear.
What the hell am I afraid of?!? I've come so far, repeatedly I've been told I have what it takes, I have all the necessary credentials, bla, bla, bla. Something's holding me back. Imposter complex. That sneaky little villain most of us have met and know well is my current conjoined twin. He reminds me that if it's not 100% it's nothing, that if I receive any feedback it means I don't have what it takes, and he makes putting myself out there harder and harder by the minute. Well, I have one thing to tell this pesky, close-talking fearmonger, "say hello to Dr. Imposter."
Instead of treating my companion as a pariah while spinning in a whirlpool of my own anxiety and not pursuing my dreams, I'm deciding to get to know him or as my therapist says, "take him out to tea." I'm doing this so I can integrate him. My "companion" is not external to me, he is me. He has points that are worth consideration. Some of them might even be valid and based on reality. This is the tricky part.
How do I know what is real and what isn't? Most of us are prone to this dilemma whether we realize it or not. Our fears create alternate realities. When we act inside of these alternate realities we can get lost, confused, or anxious. These emotions can stall our progress and prevent us from full living. I can empathize with this condition.
Even in writing this blog post I find myself thinking, "What would my clients or potential clients think...?" Will my posts of self exploration be evidence that I am indeed not qualified? Maybe. The truth is however, there are many counselors, consultants and creatives more qualified than myself out there. No doubt. But is this sufficient justification to close the laptop, not sign on the dotted line and keep my mouth shut? No. It's just fear reminding me that it may take a little longer than my ego wants to find the right clients and realize my successes. Ego, there's another guy I need to take out to tea...
Dr. Imposter, RN
Here are some of readings/listenings on fear, imposter complex and realizing our creative potential I've been digging lately: